I hold the world but as the world

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Location: Wellington, New Zealand

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Ladettes

I don't know if anyone will even read this seeing as I have become so completely useless at posting. But I'm bored so when is there a better time? I've been home all week with the flu, lying in bed shivering instead of doing some much needed work at school (we're on break at the moment). I always get sick in the holidays.

I have also been lying in bed sulking, as I was dumped by someone on Monday. It's such a terrible expression; 'dumped', but I think it suits the way you feel when it happens. So on Monday night I found myself at a friend's with 4 other single females who are all having their share of relationship (or non-relationship, to be more succinct) problems.

We were sitting around pondering our predicament. We are 5 young, educated teachers. Highly intelligent (if I do say so myself), caring, good fun to go out with, yet most of the time single. We hit upon the idea that perhaps we are a little intimidating. We are the group at work who go out the most, stay out all night and can drink many of our male colleagues under the table. We are of the 'ladette' culture. This term came out a few years ago now and was applied to women in England who were going out on the town and enjoying themselves in a way traditionally reserved for the 'lads'. By intimidating, I mean that we don't always act the part of the lady. Sure we put our make-up and heels on, but we enjoy ourselves and act the fool instead of sitting at the bar flipping our hair.

We have no problems getting dates, but they tend to be one-offs or only last a week or two before he calls it all off without much warning. But then perhaps I am getting it all wrong. I have single male friends who are finding it just as hard to sustain a relationship. In fact after Mr X broke up with me (on the phone too!) on Monday, the first two people I rang were good male friends of mine. Luke was the first, and although that may seem a bit odd ringing your ex of five years, I knew he would be the best person to talk to and elevate my esteem from 'complete shit' to 'not completely hopeless'. The second call was to a good friend who is having his own women problems and we have spent a couple of past nights watching dvds and feeling sorry for ourselves.

Are strong, independent women intimidating? Or are we just looking for a flattering excuse as to why we're not tied down with children yet? I'm sure the conversation will come up again tonight when I meet the girls (and one guy) for drinks. Sure we will comfort each other by celebrating our singledom, but by the end of the night one or two will have dates lined up and the whole process will start all over again.